i realized something the other day. over the years, people have called me an artist, and for some reason it never sat well with me, i didn't feel like i earned it. i am not creating art, how can i be called an artist. right now, i'm a storyteller, and i'm happy with that title.
nothing i have ever made, is artistic, it's just me telling a story. i'm thankful for this revelation. mostly because i think i needed to get to a time and space where i could make art, instead of making something, assuming it is art, and being pretentious about it. maybe that's why critiques don't bother me - because i'm just telling a story, and i'm getting what i wanted out of it. nothing else matters to me.
i have ideas, for artistic short films. and i will make them, one day. i'm glad i didn't do it when i was younger, and less educated about what i wanted to do. everything we do is pretentious at some level, but god damn our youthful arrogance multiplies it. i imagine, if i had made some of the things i wanted to when i was in film school, how badly i'd cringe at it now.
i look back throughout my films, and although i realize where i've made mistakes, the story, the message i originally intended to tell is still there - so how can i be bummed. it's all growth, it's all progression.