why i drink alone

alcohol has been part of my life now for 12 years (legally) and maybe 15 years total. definitely over half of my life. when i was younger, i would have a cooler with my mom in the summer, but i was only allowed to have a glass. eventually i was allowed to have a full one. but only one. i never got drunk though until i was 15, i believe, i stole a bottle of jack daniels from my parents and went to a birthday party. i mixed it with moutain dew, and got fucking stupid drunk. it went down like water and it hit me hard. i've never been able to drink jack daniels ever again.

for my graduation, we partied. for three straight days we partied. i jumped around to disaronno, to rum, to vodka, to whatever. at my grad i polished off a bottle of captain morgans spiced rum, and then had eleven mickeys of spiced rum and regular rum. some straight. i probably should have died that night. i got into a car with a drunk driver, and almost got into several accidents. (this i'll never do again). 

now that i am older, lets say for the last 11 years that i have been in vancouver, i've been drinking gin more than anything - but i've preferred to do it alone. i've developed less tolerance for drunk people. i want to enjoy my time when i am drunk, not be a foolish child, slurring about. there is a point of no return for a lot of people, and they get there and they get there quick. for people who have drank alcohol a large portion of their lives, i dont understand why people can't handle their booze better. in some instances in my adult life, i've been the "most sober" (not actually, i just have a night and day change in my attitude when i drink) and i've had to break up fights between friends, be subject to verbal attacks, and generally just get in the middle of things i want no part of. it sucked all the fun out of it for me.

i enjoy a night out, with a drink, with only a small select few people. the company is small. my girlfriend doesn't drink, so now my drinking nights are when she's gone to bed, or on a weekend, and i feel like having a glass of gin. this year has been trying, already. 26 days in. i could really use a drink - and i can't wait to do it alone. 

cody bownComment