empty

i am really annoyed and tired of empty gestures. 

you know the ones where people reach out to you 'lets meet up for beers' or 'would be great to see you' or 'i'd love to work with you' but never do as they say when you call them on it. 

i was recently in new york. it was a birthday present to me and we were there for 6 days. which i already knew wasn't going to be enough time to do everything we wanted to do. and it wasn't. i have friends in new york, but i never made an effort to see any of them. mainly because the trip was going to be packed and busy of experiences i have only dreamed about at this point. naturally i posted instagram pics of my trip, and then those friends in new york hit me up. "you in town?", "whoa we should hang out!", "would have been nice to see you".

the last one annoys me the most, for a couple reasons. i haven't seen this dude in 10 years. he comes to vancouver, almost every single year, and has not once hit me up to hang. which is fine. the last 5 times we talked over the past 6 years, have all been initiated by me - checking in and saying hey.. 

so i don't get the point of reaching out like that.. what would we do? dinner and drinks? sure, what would we talk about. we've summed up our relationship into one conversation every 1.3 years, what could we possibly talk about in real life that would make me want to put something else on hold.

i just don't get it. 

more recently, i've just finished my feature. it's sent off to tiff, which is dope and awesome. but the real work begins now. we have all the post things to do. sound, color, deliverables, etc. and i've had so many people message me saying "would love to work on something with you", okay, i need help, lets work together. and instead im met with excuses and bullshit as to why not. one guy told me his rates, and then when i agreed to match them, he made excuses about time. motherfucker, you didn't have any problems two minutes ago, why all of a sudden are you backing out.

i'm ready to shane carruth everything i work on from here on out. fuck everyone else, no one will give a shit about my project as much as me. i can't tell you how many people i've had to add to a 'i'll never work with this person again' list because of the bullshit that has come with working on my film. 

i just don't get it man.

cody bownComment